fbpx

What to do when your teen or adult children dishonor you?

by | Nov 10, 2020 | Islamic Psychology and Spirituality, Parenting and Family | 87 comments

What to do when your teen or adult children dishonor you?

By Haleh Banani, M.A.

Haleh Banani holds a Master's degree in Clinical Psychology. A faith-based counselor, life coach, and mental health professional who has served the community since 1998 by saving hundreds of marriages and helping thousands of people around the world overcome their challenges and become the most amazing version of themselves.
book

Get The Support and Help You Need Today

Schedule Session

Free Guide

You May Also Like…

How To Stop Emotional Eating?

Many times, when we experience very strong emotions like anger, fear, anxiety, or depression, we tend to numb those emotions by turning towards food. This is called emotional eating. There are many people who suffer from an emotional eating disorder. In this article,...

How to avoid a parent-child relationship with your spouse

How to avoid a parent-child relationship with your spouse

Have you ever witnessed that parent-child dynamic in relationships where one spouse seizes the role of a parent while the other is treated like a child? Unfortunately, whether it be in your family, your circle of friends, or even in your relationship, such unnatural...

87 Comments

  1. Fathima Sheik Mohideen

    JazaakAllah khair khatheeran sister bela..parents need lot of motivation and advice during challenging times

  2. Fathima Sheik Mohideen

    Allah SWT is our gaurdian ..He will surely help us all challenges

  3. Fathima Sheik Mohideen

    We as parents has to show graceful behaviour for sure

  4. Fathima Sheik Mohideen

    BaarakAllah sister Haleh
    A nice advice..a need of hour for all parents

  5. Fathima Sheik Mohideen

    Ask lot of dua dears..May Allah SWT safegaurd our children from all evil and grant them best life in this world and aakhira
    May parents have compassion always for dear children

  6. Alifan Khan

    Much needed today, i have stopped talking to my kids since long back because they don’t make effort and time to make good relations with me

  7. BM Shatnawi

    I love when hala laughs and says you can’t do that lol I’ve told a lotta ppl this you can’t sorry and if you do you will have bigger problems

  8. BM Shatnawi

    Never quit

    • Dama Diiriye

      Maskiin Tii Ilaahay such a wonderful advice Maa Shaa Allah Nay Allah protect all our children Txs Abaayo

      • Anisa Ali Cw

        U very welcome abaayo

        • Anisa Ali Cw

          Dama Diiriye Amiin yaa rabi

  9. BM Shatnawi

    I love Haleh she keeps it real

  10. Ilham Khafif

    I so need this right now

  11. Sukaina Y Hussein

    Ma sha Allah… Jazakallah khairan for the guidance…

  12. Razia Banon

    Jazak Allah khair my dear sis for this beautiful n very helpful msg .Alhamdoulillah

  13. Aida Elhalwagy

    Very much needed. Raising teenagers is the biggest challenge and test. It takes many conflicts and talks and tears and anger, inshallah there is liÄ£ht at the end of the tunnel if we persist and dont give up on our kids. They eventually reach a better level of maturity where they realize what you’ve been fighting for is so important. The past 3 years has been an internal hell, mostly internal, because we also have a 9 year old, so we tried not to be so visible with our conflicts with our teen. All I know is that it does get better and the most important thing is to make sure your teen knows that you love them no matter what-because things can get fixed, behaviours can change, but if they feel you have disconnected from them, you’ve lost ur job, you will reduce ur chances of ever helping them to be a better being. Thank you Haleh for putting this out.

  14. Fauziah Said

    Jazakum Allah khayr kathir dear Sis Haleh

    • Razia Banon

      Nazima Kureemun Alhamdoulillah n thank you so much my dearest sis . I feel so good just by listening to her voice Ma Sha Allah . Every words she has said is like she can feel the pain of the parents .Very helpful Subhan Allah .Jazak Allah Naz

  15. Amy Sahar Shishefar

    guys make them work for their things has help me alot dont give them iphone at age 10 my goodness

  16. Amy Sahar Shishefar

    i had a police tell my daughter you are over 18 u dont have to stay with your parents and she left that day for almost 2 years. because she took my car and wrecked it when i came home i thought car was stolen because she had no DL. so instead of accountability. she is back in the home now because her boyfriend bring her back they were moving out of state. I didnt kick her out she left because of laws here. when i was her age i accidently hit my neighbor car i paid 750 for damages next day i love her but she is a human and i am no longer her ATM because she keeps me at arms length. she doesnt help in the home so i told her if you cannot do her part in the home she can uber to work. it works i didnt take her to work she started her chores 2 months waiting for her to clean her bathroom she is a woman needs to be clean others use that bathroom at times. i dont give up on her but i do not rescue her wrong doing.

  17. Amy Sahar Shishefar

    u can put in islamic school makes no difference they still have minds guys

  18. Iman Ben

    You said what Not to do. How about what to do? How to face it? How to deal with it?

  19. Farah Diba

    Sister how about children in 30s and 40s? If they do disrespect and doesnt care. Sometime parents end of loosing everything in process. Parents get old and they have no say or value in children’s lives. Only option left with parents to make dua for hidayah

  20. Farah Diba

    Jazak Allah Sister, you are really addressing something so mothers are going through. Pain is unspoken

  21. Roma Khan

    Assalamualaikum wa Rehmatullahe Wa Barakatuh dearest hardworking people and JazakAllaah khairan kaseera dearest Haleh Banani…
    .. Yes …it is as heart breaking as it is ….all the worry has to be used to make duas and accepting that only Allaah guides whom and when He wills …..
    After setting the good example and an appropriate level of influence which is age and conditions appropriate …nothing much is left in the common experience that should be done as pushing someone too frequent or too harshly or cutting ties can make them really off track . Avoiding them out of sadness for three days is allowed as its sunnah …
    Allaah consoled the prophet(saw) and reminded him that only Allaah is in all control ….
    Hope from Allaah till the last breath o..Allaah make our family coolness of our eyes and make us the leader of spouses and children who are conscious of Allaah …

  22. Abyan Farah

    My family is d

  23. Abyan Farah

    Jazk Allah khair

  24. Omid Akbary

    Just amazing info and advice,May the almighty grant u paradise and protection from hell.

  25. Anisa Osman

    JazakAllah Khair habibti
    May Allah SWT reward you.

  26. Mubeenah Suleman

    Work with them and don’t loose your child.

  27. Sandra Labadia

    A million thank yous!!!!

  28. Sandra Labadia

    Brilliant teaching fir our Muslim parents.. totally apreciate YOU!!!

    • Haleh Banani

      Sandra Labadia Thank you for your sweet words!

      • Sandra Labadia

        Haleh Banani you are
        an Excellent Therapist, Counsultant and Mother,
        Masha^Allah

  29. Munira Khan

    Masha Allah ameen very wel said

  30. Sakina Ahmed

    Thank u soo much sister haleh .. may allah reward u immensely for ur work. U r a blessing t the ummah

    • Haleh Banani

      Sakina Ahmed Ameen ya rab! Jazakillah Khair!

  31. Precious Pebblez

    What would the solution beee?

  32. Uneja Rufau

    Not at all to quit. U are a parent a guardian yes a lifetime responsibility

  33. Uneja Rufau

    Just on point. Jazxakillah khair

  34. Sharifa Riyamy

    May Allah guide and protect us.

  35. Balkeesh Hassan

    Subhanallah…
    Your advice is so much appreciated, Sis

    • Haleh Banani

      Munawara Hussen Esmael I’m so sorry to hear that. May Allah ease your heart and put out the fire in your home & grant you tranquility.

  36. Munawara Hussen Esmael

    Can you please educate us on this topic / issues ! I personally need a lot of advice and guidance and help on this! Please

  37. Munawara Hussen Esmael

    Maa Shaa Allah Tabarakallah May Allah protect you and bless you sister you are just speaking from my mind

  38. Muna Hassan

    Masha allaah….

  39. Gadija Vanderlilly

    Subaghanallah so true never give up on your child… I’m talking about experience and family support especially the other siblings are very important Alhamdullilah

  40. Alfiya Moghaddam

    How to deal only …wanted to hear more on hows to…Inshallah

  41. Shehaam Diedericks

    Subghaanallah beautiful words always

  42. Inas Soudi

    Jazak Allah Khaira , excellent tips

  43. Fouziya Sk

    I want to kno more about how to make the children to be closer with us

  44. Fouziya Sk

    Very useful sister..

  45. Zainab Hamid

    Jazakallahu khairan sis Haleh

  46. Sheeba Wanee

    SubanAllah much needed to hear ! JazakAllahu Khairan katheeran dearest sister ..

  47. Fouziya Sk

    How to convince the father to fulfill the children wishes

  48. Zainab Hassan

    Asalaam aleiyqum, May Allah SWT reward you!! We need this talk!

  49. Shazia Abbasi

    Subhan Allah so true that’s the time when they need empathy!

  50. Asmaa El-kilany

    What should I do when my child refuses to pray? Attend Quran classes???? Practice Islam????? I talk and have discussions and try to encourage. I don’t want to enforce but it breaks my heart

    • Roma Khan

      Yes ..my sister it is as heart breaking as it is ….all the worry has to be used to make duas and accepting that only Allaah guides whom and when He wills …..

      • Samina Yar

        Roma Khan thank you so much for this advice. I also have resorted to duas and asked SWT to guide me and my children

        • Roma Khan

          May Allaah make it easy for us to be rightly guided

          • BM Shatnawi

            Asmaa El-kilany the less you get angry the more they come to you

  51. Binette Diallo

    MashaaAllah Tabarak sister Haleh may Allah reward for the beautiful reminder.

  52. Farozan Kakar

    Amen, May Allah accept on behalf of all parents.

  53. Marie Saied

    I agree totally with you sister .subhan Allah

  54. Riz Patel

    Ws

You Can Fix Your Marriage Even If You Are The Only One Working To Save It

You Can Fix Your Marriage Even If You Are The Only One Working To Save It

 

Rekindle your relationship find love, support & respect

Start with The 7 Gems to Save Your Marriage

 

 

You have Successfully Subscribed!

×
Subscribe and We will notify you when there is new content
sub headline