How to avoid drowning in negativity in three simple steps

Summary by Staff Writer

Do you feel like you are drowning in a sea of negativity? It is very easy to be overwhelmed with negativity. Whether it comes from the outside like the news or closer to home, like your friends and family, you may find it difficult to avoid being affected by the negative thing that people say and do. Just the other day I had a client ask “What can I do when people around me are constantly getting me down?”. I want to share with you the same three simple steps that I shared with her.

Before I get into the steps you can follow in order to avoid drowning in negativity, I want to answer a few questions. What do you think is the number one cause of the negativity in your life? Is it media? Your family members? From past experiences that you are reliving in your mind? I would love to hear your perspective on where all the negativity is coming from. You should take some time to pinpoint the source of the negativity.

Friends and Family

The first step is to really be aware of who you are spending time with, especially your inner circle. If you are surrounded by people who are constantly negative, constantly complaining, and constantly seeing the worst in society and others, then you need to make some changes with regards to who you have around you.

We’ve all had a Debbie Downer in our lives, we’ve all experienced that person who is always seeing only what is “wrong” with the school, what’s wrong with the economy, and what’s wrong with out [ohm]. People like this are not having any kind of positive impact on your life. They are simply filling your life with negativity. Their chronic complaining will eventually rub off on you.

Really be aware of who you are spending time with. Choose to be around individuals who lift your spirits, people who see possibilities, and those who are taking positive action. These are the people who will fill you with hope and who will help you see the beauty in the world.

Perspective

The second step is to change your perspective. Whatever you focus on in life is what is going to grow in importance in your mind. If you spend most of your time focusing on the things you don’t have, the losses you’ve experienced, or on whatever else it is that is getting you down, that is exactly what is going to expand in your thoughts.

It is very important to get away from the negativity by changing your mindset, by finding what you’re really grateful for. Many years ago, I focused on the “attitude of gratitude” on my television show “With Haleh”. Now, I see that it is a very prevalent and [arabic] topic. It is great to see other people talking about how powerful gratitude is. In the general public and in the world of psychology, there is so much emphasis on it because gratitude really does work.

Focusing on what you are grateful for is so amazingly powerful. Making gratitude a part of your daily ritual will bring you immense happiness and will help you resist the negativity. Whether you focus on your heart, your eyesight, or that you had a good night’s sleep, focusing on what you are grateful for will bring feelings of happiness and contentment. You can focus on something really amazing or the smallest thing, the key is changing your mindset to gratitude.

Action

The third step is to take action. It is very easy to complain, to simply sit back and criticize other people who are actively trying to make a difference in the world. The biggest complainers, the very negative people, are often the ones on the sidelines.

If you recognize that there is a problem, you can change that negative by taking action and doing something about it. Maybe you feel like the [masjid] needs so and so, take action about it. If you feel the school lacks spirit, do something about it, get involved. If you feel that there is anything that is negative in your community, whatever it is that you see, then take action.

Taking action is taking a step forward. Sitting around complaining and not doing anything about it is a good way to drown in negativity. If all you do is think about the negativity around you, repeat it to others and never take action you will never be able to reach the surface and find the good in your life.

You don’t need to tackle something huge like world peace, just start by taking one little step. Back when I started my [halakah] in Egypt, it began with just taking the hands of three people. Nobody thought it would work, that nobody would come because it was Friday, a family day. A lot of people were not in the habit of going to the [mesha], women would stay at home. I felt that during this time when the men were at the mosque, we should get together and increase our spirituality. Even only having three people attending, I started. I took action and with time, with [dwa], more and more sisters came.

Take initiative and do something that you can feel good about. Become part of the solution, stop contributing to the problem. There are enough people contributing to the problems, enough people sitting there, wasting their time criticizing others rather than taking positive action.

Make Changes

Sitting there and focusing on all the problems, acting like nothing will ever get better is not an Islamic attitude. Look to our predecessors, they were full of optimism and they took action. They had that [arabic] and that certainty to make things happen. Don’t sit around and wait for someone else to take action. Start wherever you are, it doesn’t have to be on a grand scale. Find those three people that you can influence in a positive way.

Starting today, stop complaining and start surrounding yourself with people who are positive, people that have hope. Rise above the negativity. Don’t let miserable, pessimistic people who have lost energy or hope in life drag you down into that sea of negativity.

You can be the shining light, even if it is just for your family or a few other people. You can make a difference and have enthusiasm for life. A little action will put happiness in your heart, will put the gratitude, will put the contentment, the [rithra]. [Rithra] is that contentment that all the prophets had, you need to find that within the difficulties. Take action so that you can have a positive impact on your own life, on your family and on anyone who is around you.

[Inshallah], following these three simple steps can save you from drowning in negativity. First, surround yourself with positive people, be very particular about who you choose to spend your time with. Reduce the amount of time you spend with negative people.

Next, make sure you focus on what you are grateful for in your life. Focus on gratitude, it really makes a difference. Gratitude is how I coped with the loss of my mother. I focused on the fact that I was able to have her in my life for fifty years. For the last few months, during the time I’ve been grieving the loss of my mother, I’ve been teaching others how to be content in the Mindful Hearts Academy. [Subhanallah], I’m grateful for that because it gave me a chance to walk the talk and to find gratitude, even in loss.

Finally take action, stop whining and complaining. Even little actions will have a profound impact when you are part of the solution. You will feel better when you are making a difference in someone’s life. It could be just one person’s life, but that’s enough.

[Jazakillah khair] for reading this article. Join the Mindful Hearts Academy [LINK]. It is a very enriching, Allah interactive, amazing sisterhood that is about positively cheering each other on and lifting each other up. Unfortunately, many people don’t have this circle in their families or their communities. [Alhamdulillah], I’m very grateful for having the opportunity to create a global support for sisters from all different parts of the world where we help each other grow, advance, and get the positivity that we need. Sign up to the waiting list, registration opens soon. I hope you can join us.