Welcome to a mindful Ramadan 2022, leaving a legacy this year. Our goal is to inspire each of you to choose how you want to be remembered, and your passion for contribution, whether at home or on a global scale. Our guest today has been serving the Muslim community for over 25 years as a teacher, public speaker, author, writer, spiritual counselor, and mental health advocate. She currently teaches spiritual development classes for adults and is actively involved with her local community. It is my dear friend, Hosai Mojaddidi. We will be talking about leaving a legacy through raising God-conscious children.

Who should be our source of inspiration?

A lot of our inspiration starts at childhood. What we are inspired to do with our lives and what vision we have for ourselves goes back to our memories and connection with our family members. However, the biggest source of inspiration for any Muslim would be our beloved prophets. When we study the seerah and learn the beautiful virtues that Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) possessed, we become filled with hope and want something to aspire to.
When you see your family members possessing or emulating the Prophetic qualities, you automatically tend to revere them. When you greet a child with a smile and are affectionate, they will not only have fond memories of you but will also look at you as an inspiration for them to emulate when they get older.

Turning point in our lives

There are several life incidents that can bring about a sudden awakening in a person, but the most powerful one is when we see our loved ones pass away. Death somehow tends to shake us to the core and awaken us, because we now see the reality that was always hanging in front of us. A lot of times, we get so distracted with Dunya that we fail to understand the magnanimity of meeting Allah. With death, we not only endure loss, pain, and suffering but are suddenly staring at bigger and more important questions like the punishment of the grave, questioning in the grave, and the final judgment of hellfire or paradise. When we see the death of a family member, we usually tend to explore our own identities. It is a wake-up call for many people. Death causes many people to look at their deen with more seriousness and sincerity. When this happens, we automatically end up imparting Islamic values to our children.

Instilling Islamic knowledge in kids:

A lot of parents struggle with instilling Islamic values in their children. They want their children to get close to Allah without having to undergo any struggles or challenges. Sometimes, they don’t understand the right approach, leading their children to go farther away from Islam. However, it is important to note that there is no one-size-fits-all solution for this. As parents, we need to develop a very holistic view of what’s going on in our child’s life and the challenges our children are facing before preaching to them about halal and haram. Children these days are exposed to trials and fitna that were unheard of a few years ago! They have access to information at the tip of their fingers. We can have control over our children until they reach adolescence, but after that, their peers and social media influencers play a massive role in shaping their thought processes and behaviors. Your child begins to transform physiologically, biologically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually right before your eyes.
Therefore, the first step is to understand and acknowledge the challenges your child is facing. Be a good listener and let them know that you are there for them, no matter what. Don’t be a judgemental personality in their life. Be the shoulder they can lean on. Kindness and gentleness are powerful tools to get anyone to listen to you, and your children are no different. When you earn their respect and love, it will be easier for you to teach them about Islam and various other life lessons with ease.

Don’t take it personally

When your child does not listen to you or is doing unIslamic things, do not take it personally. You are not your child’s target. Yelling, screaming, or threatening your child will not work. This will either make the child rebellious or push them away from Islam.
Islam is not just a religion with a set of do’s and dont’s. Teaching and implementing Islam should be your way of life. When the child sees, right from a young age, that you are giving preference to Allah in every single deed and action you perform, it will automatically make them god conscious. You cannot ignore Islamic teachings when they are young and suddenly expect your teenage child to love Allah and Islam. It does not work that way.

How do you earn your child’s respect?

Respect is not one directional. If you don’t respect your child but expect them to respect you, it won’t happen in the long run. The question you need to ask is do you see your children as just extensions of you or do you recognize that they are actually totally independent of you and that they have their own path to God?
Children are an Amanah, a trust given to us by Allah. They are not our slaves. When we show compassion, love, and respect, we will automatically be given the same. We need to seek to be of those that command respect by emulating the qualities of our beloved Prophet (PBUH). We should never be of those who demand respect because you will not get it in the long run. Being authoritative and bossy will not get you respect.

The impact of an attentive mother to our society

In those early formative years, the parent-child bond is so important and critical to formulate. Many women think their role isn’t significant but they can literally change the ummah! You are the shepherd of your child. You have the power to set the foundation to propel your child towards Jannah and success. These days, we notice many parents leaving their children in the hands of strangers or devices that are dangerous. You can and should be that force of love, guidance, and power your child is seeking. You can blossom into the individual you want to be while simultaneously being there for your child. Seek Allah’s help and guidance and you will see miracles unfolding. It’s never about the quantity of time you spend with your child but the quality that matters.

Our deen is one of compassion

We should never emotionally, spiritually, or psychologically abuse our children to get them to do what we want. Our deen is one of compassion, love, and mercy. Instilling fear or threatening them will not get the results needed to raise happy, confident, god-fearing individuals who are respectful and obedient towards us.