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Way to Get What You Want from Your Spouse:

When was the last time you wanted your spouse to do something, but unfortunately, you couldn’t convince them to do it in the end?

Ever wondered whether it’s not your spouse that may be in the wrong, but instead, it’s you who has a faulty approach when trying to coax your spouse into doing something for you? Why are some couples so kind and helpful to each other while others only know how to yell and make waves? And in the end, guess what? They still remain empty-handed, along with an additional headache because of all that stamina you exerted during shouting.

The problem here lies not in the demands you make in most cases but in the approach, you use when expressing your desires in front of your mate. For today, I have a lot of things in store for you. First of all, I’ll let you know the 3 ways people do it wrong when convincing their spouses to do something for them and how you can avoid committing the same mistakes as well.

The other portion has been reserved for making you aware of the magically effective “TEA Formula” that lets you become a professional when it comes to letting your spouse become their best version when dealing with you as well as all of your affairs.

3 Commonly Used Strategies to Get What You Want from Your Spouse:

The following are the 3 different ways that you can use to mess up things when asking for something from your spouse:

Whining and Complaining:

Many individuals tend to complain to their spouses about how they’ve been neglecting their duties towards them. Although you may be in the right here and your spouse may have been showing irresponsibility when dealing with your affairs, making complaints to them certainly isn’t the best way to do it. 

Tell me, who enjoys listening to their wrongdoings? Nobody, right? So why should your spouse do the same? Complaining and whining are what kids look good at while doing, certainly not adults. Instead, once you complain, you may seem like rather an ungrateful person and start being disliked by your spouse as a result.

Yelling, Criticizing and Being Harsh:

There has never been a shortage of people who think it’s okay to do things by either hook or by crook, as long as you end up getting what you want. 

Bearing this psychology in mind, many people tend to yell at their couples and eat their brains out until finally forcing the other party to comply with your demands and desires.

This way, although you may win quite a few times, it’s certainly not an effective medicine for the long term. Not far in the future, your spouse may just start labelling you as a yelling maniac, one who likes to make waves just for their selfish desires and disturbs your peace and tranquility. Turning a deaf ear to their noisy spouse may even become an everyday practice.

Giving Silent Treatment:

People tend to view themselves in high regard, thinking that the heavens may fall apart in case they head off for solitude for a while. 

In reality, though, all that is nothing but your own ego, along with a high dose of arrogance. Similarly, ignoring your spouse and giving them the cold shoulder just for the sake of manipulating them to do what you want is a practice that may bode you rather ill than well. 

One of the symptoms may be getting up as distant with your spouse and losing the necessary sense of intimacy for a marriage relationship.

Using the TEA Formula to Get Your Spouse to Do Things:

I heard an exciting acronym used in a sentence the other day. The sentence goes like this, “Fill your spouse’s cup with TEA.”

Wondering what this “TEA” refers to? Satisfy your curiosity down below:

T for Tenderness and Touch:

Everybody loves being cared for. The same goes for your spouse, no matter how cold and indifferent he may seem on the surface. 

Sometimes, showing some tenderness to your spouse and being kind to them through different acts, large or small, that are full of gentleness is the best way to make them listen to your needs in turn as well. 

You may also try physical touch, such as giving your spouse a big and tight hug to let them feel warm in their hearts or even holding hands while going for a stroll outside. 

Dale Carnegie said, “The only way to get someone to do something for you is by making them want to do it themselves.”

And your spouse will only want to make you happy when you’re putting in just as much effort to make them stay happy as well.

The Prophet’s saying, “If you had not been gentle, the people would have run away from you.”

E for Empathy and Encouragement:

In a relationship, it can’t only be about WHAT YOU NEED. So, no, that won’t work. You also need to keep in mind WHAT YOUR SPOUSE NEEDS. You need to share their worries and treat them with kindness and empathy; let them know how you’re there for them through thick and thin.

Do that, and your spouse will, in turn, take care of your needs and desires as well.

Secondly, learn the art of encouragement. Do be like that nagging person who only knows how to complain and feels like the world will fall apart if he ever delivers praise to anybody.

If others are making an effort, no matter how small, to improve themselves, acknowledge it and don’t be stingy with your compliments. Saying things like, “Not perfect, too many flaws.”, “It’s too late now…” etc., won’t do.

Dale Carnegie: “Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”

A for Appreciation and Affection:

Don’t be hypocritical when others are trying to appease and make up with you. Instead, have some sincerity and learn to appreciate the hard work they’ve done for you.

It’s foolish to set your eyes on the single black dot in the whole sea of white.

We humans should act like humans. Flaws are a part of our nature and should be forgiven. Unfortunately, while we’re very swift in forgiving ourselves for the most significant blunders, we often criticize others for ant-like mistakes.

You can’t expect your spouse to be 100% efficient like robots. Doing so is like setting them up for failure in advance and ending up disappointing yourself.

Also, you need to show some affection to your spouse whenever possible.

We, humans, crave love and affection. Nobody prefers to be lonely and forgotten.

So, take it as your mission to be affectionate when dealing with your spouse next time. You can do so either through acts of physical touch such as tight hugs etc. Or by doing small acts of kindness and care that end up warming your spouse’s heart because they know how much you love and care for them.

Do the above, and that day won’t be far from now when your spouse starts taking care of you with all their hearts and meeting your needs to the best of their ability.

Final Thoughts:

Before you say it, let me do it for you. “But it’s just too difficult to get along with my husband” or ” My wife is too unresponsive to any and all efforts I make”, and even there are situations where certain spouses may have mental disorders. For such unique cases, there may be special needs like seeking professional help, etc.

But mostly, it’s just everyday family drama, and for that, adopting the above-explained TEA theory may as well be the best choice you ever make in your marriage life.

Tell me then, what part of the miraculous TEA Formula are you going to focus on first? Is it the T, the E or the A? Do tell in the comments as I’m inquisitive to know what you think of it.

Need some extra, tailor-made for you and (comforting words) FREE of charge help to let you traverse the dungeons and pits in your marriage?

Well, you’ve knocked on the right door then. Just download my Free PDF (7 Gems to Save Your Marriage) from my site, halehbanani.com.

You can also go through the many free videos and other available courses to make your marriage happier and more resilient.