There’s nothing worse than seeing your child being very anxious. When you see that they are struggling and are overwhelmed or down, you really feel like there’s something you have to do. So, I’m going to give you three tips that you can do to help your child when they’re in that state of anxiety.
1- Look at yourself
Take a look at your own anxiety level. We don’t realize how we are transmitting the anxiety that we have upon our children. With many of my clients, I call this a “generational anxiety” or “generational depression”. Many times, our children observe us and when they see us getting anxious or upset, they embody that. I had one client telling me that they are afraid of darkness. I stressed that they had to overcome this fear, else this would eventually rub on to their children too. I had another client tell me that he has completely adopted all of his mother’s anxieties – from being paranoid to not trusting people and being anxious about any kind of deadline.
Therefore, the first step to end your child’s anxiety is that you need to reflect on yourself and see if you are exhibiting some of these behaviors that you dislike in your child or you’re concerned about.
Do the internal work as an individual and as a parent. Focus on yourself. This is what I teach in the Mindful Hearts Academy. I help people do their internal work and see where they are falling short, in order to rectify their shortcomings.
2- Acknowledge
Acknowledge that anxiety is a part of life. It’s not something to be ashamed of. You don’t have to feel bad about it. Don’t be judgmental towards yourself or others. Do not chide your children if they complain about anxiety or lecture them about how they have weak Imaan. Many parents immediately blame the child and tell them that if they were punctual in their salah or dhikr, they wouldn’t be experiencing these negative thoughts and emotions. While it is true that salah, dhikr, Quran, and remembrance of Allah play a huge role in maintaining your mental and emotional well-being, there could be other causes that could be triggering anxiety in children that requires professional help.
For instance, when your child complains about stomach pain or fever, you don’t blame it on low Imaan. You seek medical help from doctors and use prescribed medicines to correct the illness. Mental health needs to be dealt with in the same manner.
I’ve come across clients who have memorized the Quran but have anxiety or depression. It doesn’t mean that their faith is not strong enough. It is not a reflection of their connection with Allah because this is a psychological disorder. So when you dismiss their emotions and mental well-being as nothing important, it only makes matters worse.
Don’t be judgmental. You should be the safety net your child depends on, no matter how difficult things may seem.
3- Listen and understand
Don’t just go in with the mindset of trying to fix your child. Try to understand where they’re coming from. There is a reason they are feeling anxious. If you get to the bottom of it, you could probably help them overcome some of their concerns. Try deep breathing exercises or go on walks together. Just be a source of help and support to them. You can learn good coping strategies but if they’re having panic attacks and the condition is debilitating, then you need to seek professional help.
When these problems are left untreated, it lowers your child’s self-esteem and when they get older, it will ruin their relationships with those around them, whether it is their spouse or coworkers and friends. All of us want the best for our children, so understanding them and helping them out in whatever ways possible is the best gift you can give to your child.
I teach you all these strategies and more at the Mindful Hearts Academy, so do check out the “Courses” section on the website and register today! I will teach you how to overcome your anxiety, have amazing self-confidence and emotional intelligence to take on the world.
Join us at Mindful Hearts Academy. Try it for 30 Days Risk-FREE!
We always want to be around people who aim for the best and have amazing confidence. These are people who have done their internal work. I will help you achieve all this and more inshaAllah. Bringing about a positive change in yourself will have a direct impact on your kids, helping them grow into successful individuals because they are looking up to you. It’s time for you to be the best role model for them!
Walakum salam iya
My 16 year old son having a problem to making friends. He don’t have friends at all and he very depressed about that. What’s should I do ?????
Abida Awan 16 years are below the line of maturity, he is feeling shy how to talk with people who are near him, but he will make number of friends when he come in 20 or cross 20 years. Dont worry
It’s very hard to make kids to read Quran
Subhan’Allah, indeed so true
Saima Zakir
Fozi Foz for my inner child too lol
Salma Khan Saira Khan
Jazaki Allah kheer sister Haleh
Assalaamu alaikum Haleh. JazakAllah for all your excellent advice. May Allah SWT guide and protect you always ameen.
Assalamualaikum sister
Asalamu Alaikom
Sobhia Mahmood watch this
اللهم صلي وسلم وبارك على سيدنا محمد
how can we help a child to not adopt or to overcome anxieties their parents have when we are another adult in their lives (teachers, relative, friend)? What if the parent is not capable or not receptive to working on this themselves or with their child?
Subhanna’Allah
Take heed Parents
alhamdulillh, I suffer time to time with anxiety and i ve seen it in my children too
Rasha Elbarkouky
In shaa Allah sister
Assalaam mu alaikum ALL
Absolutely right these days at home can be used as an opportunity to influence our children in the right way!
Where is the state?
As salam O Alikum
Really good advice
Salmu alikm
Asalamualkum do you have a parenting group.
Kinda like the mindful hearts Academy but for parenting tips and techniques.
Is this free or I need to pay for it
Mejda Tej It’s only $11/month http://www.themindfulhearts.com
How can I get in touch with you
the best way to contact sister haleh is through her website : https://halehbanani.com
I like your speech really interesting
Southern california
From where you are
Assalamo alekum
You are so right mashallah
Mahasllha
Salam alaikom السلام عليكم
Assalam Alaikum sister thank you what about children with anxiety
My daughter is suffering from anxiety. May Allah protect her
Assalamu Allaykum all
Assalam alaikum sister
Assalamalaikum Sr Haleh
Waswrwb
Asalam ulaykum sister
Asalamunalaikum