There is one thing people do in their marriage that literally destroys it. What could it be? Read on to find out.

When a couple has a dispute leading to frustration and anger, they try to resolve the matter by texting each other. Has it happened to you?

Sometimes, the spouse could be at work and they end up getting this barrage of angry messages from their spouse, which only makes matters worse. When you have a conflict, the best thing to do is to solve your issues face-to-face instead of hiding behind your phone or laptop. That’s because:

1. Your spouse will not be able to read the tone with which you sent the message. So, for example, your message could have meant something different but your spouse would be reading it in a tone that’s in their mind, leading to your message being interpreted in a totally different context. That’s because text messages don’t carry your tone. This only leads to further misunderstandings and tempers flying all over. These text messages will not solve your problem, it will only make matters worse.
2. Your text messages should be a source of joy, peace, and love. Remember the initial days of marriage when you looked forward to reading your spouse’s texts or rushed to answer the phone? There were butterflies in your stomach and you couldn’t wait to hear your spouse’s voice. Text messages are meant for exactly these purposes. Use your phone to send words of love, encouragement and happiness to your spouse. Your text messages should be about exchanging loving words. Your text messages should light up thier world. Yes, we don’t live in fairytale lands where everything is made of roses but we do live in a dunya where we should seek solace, comfort and enjoyment in our spouses. There will be diasgreements and arguments in any relationship, and marriage is no different. So, don’t use text messages to convey your displeasure to your spouse.

When couples are constantly fighting over their phones using text messages, they ultimately begin to resent each other. Even seeing their spouse’s name pop up on their devices brings a frown on their faces and in their hearts. They end up having a negative association with their spouse’s name. This makes couples not even want to answer their spouse’s calls or respond to their texts. I’ve seen clients go as far as blocking their spouse’s numbers because they don’t want to engage in never-ending rounds of conflict and arguments.

When your name pops up on their device, it should light up their world. It’s hard enough to resolve conflicts face-to-face and if you are in a tense relationship and are exchanging text messages, it’s going to spell disaster to your relationship. When you speak face-to-face, you can clear up any assumptions you have from that conversation. This will lead to solutions instead of more problems.

This is what I teach in my “Five Pillars of Marriage” program. I teach you to successfully resolve conflicts with your spouses without letting the situation deteriorate. I help you learn coping strategies to handle the dynamics that come with any relationship without you feeling overwhelmed. I help you learn to take responsibility and lead from the front in order to transform your marriage and make it a life cherishing union inshaAllah.

Don’t Give Them The Silent Treatment:

When you have an argument, the last thing you want to do is to give your spouse the silent treatment or push them away. When you bundle up your feelings and refuse to talk them out, you are not punishing your spouse but yourself. Giving your spouse the silent treatment will affect you more than it affects your spouse. Many people fail to recognize this.

I teach you all this and more in my “Five pillars of marriage” program. It is a program that is comprehensive within the Islamic framework and is based on 24 years of personal experience. I’ve helped thousands of people all over the world, and I can help you too insha’Allah.

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For further guidance, you can find some free courses and content on how to enhance your marriage. Also, you can download a free PDF from the website to benefit from it, Insha’Allah.