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Do you desire a marriage full of intimacy, happiness, and love? Are you sick of your marriage’s endless conflicts and problems? 

Well, let me assure you that you are not alone! It may feel like fighting with your spouse is the end of the world, yet it is perfectly natural for couples to disagree. You’re two different individuals who will sometimes hold differing views.

 Though the saying “everything’s fair in love and war” has been around for quite a long time, it isn’t always true. As a result, it’s critical to learn how to make sure your arguments are healthy. What you may not realize, however, is that how you behave after a dispute can be just as significant to your marriage as what you scream in the heat of battle. 

Things You Should Never Do: 

Following is my advice on things that can destroy a happy marriage or hurt the person you love. By doing these, you may leave permanent negative marks on your happy marriage. If you want your fights to be productive, consider following these tips. 

1- Force Him for Time Together:

“I need a break” You might hear this after a fight. It’s natural to feel worried; if this happens, take a few deep breaths and consider how you’d want to be understood if the situation was reversed. It is okay to take a break when things grow heated. Understand and respect your spouse if he needs some time to cool it off. Jumping ship in the middle of a conversation can lead to bitterness, anxiety, or even worse. 

2- Blame Him for Everything:

Try swapping roles the next time you and your partner fight. Rather than debating your point of view, try seeing things from your spouse’s perspective. Once everything has calmed down, take a step back and evaluate the disagreement with an open mind. By doing so, you’ll realize that it is not always black or white. Put yourself in his shoes as there are always two sides of a coin, and it is necessary to consider the opposing viewpoint, regardless of how sure you are that you are correct.  

3- Ignore Them: 

Ignoring your spouse after you got into a fight is never a wise choice. Let them know if you need some time or space to understand things clearly. If you ignore or neglect your spouse, they may believe you’re blaming them, which may cause them to withhold expressing to you how they feel. Instead, you can say, “Give me some time, I’m sure things will be fine”, to make them understand you better. Encourage healthy communication to build forever-lasting relationships. 

4- Apologize Without Meaning it:

It may sound like a good idea to say sorry and end the fight, well it will make things worse. You may be making a kind gesture on your side, but your partner may believe you are getting exhausted from them. What alternatives do you have in this situation? Instead of just throwing it in their faces, explain what you’re genuinely sorry about. If you’re apologizing, explain how you won’t make the same mistakes again. Showing them you regret what you did, is more important than words. 

5- Make Excuses or Blame Other Things:

A stressful day at work, health condition, or a sleepless night, everyone is going through a lot in life. It is pointless and disrespectful to make excuses for getting into a fight. Saying “I’m sorry but….” is not an apology. Tell your spouse if something is worrying you or upsetting you. Tell him through a call or text about how you feel or how good or bad your day is. The beauty of marriages is that you can talk about anything and everything. 

6- Outcry The World About It: 

The next and most important relationship and marriage advice are to never complain about your spouse to anyone. Whether it’s friends or family, you’ll lose your partner’s trust if you do so. Do not express your anger, sadness, or regret on social media or call your mom to gossip about your sufferings. Conflict is a private topic that should be resolved between you and your spouse without the presence of any outsiders. As, people will most certainly perceive your connection – in a negative way. Hence, it is recommended that you either address your problems by communicating with one another or seek the assistance of a qualified professional. 

7- Nag About Past Mistakes:

Let the past go. Forgive and forget has to be the rule always with your loved ones. You’ll find yourself talking in circles and not getting somewhere if you bring up old fights. Keep the conversation on track. Your loved one may have a list of mistakes, but it has nothing to do with what you’re working on right now. Although, you’ve been ignoring something that’s been bothering you for a long time. Don’t dump a bucket of complaints to be dealt with all at once. Have a forgiving heart and let you and your relationship grow with time, Inshallah. 

To sum up, every relationship has its ups and downs, but that doesn’t mean it has to end. I’ve seen and met several people who have gone through the worst relationship experiences and traumas and turned them into their ideal marriages. By the grace of Allah, nothing is impossible if you keep working on it. Be the glue and keep your marriages happy and flourishing. 

Please note that we are, by no means, promoting staying in abusive relationships. Or advising someone to be a submissive who agrees with everything their partner says, good or bad. The relationship or marriage advice listed above is for creating powerful, never-ending marriages. 

Let us know if this article was in any way helpful to you? Which advice will you remember and use for future progress? If you want to read further articles then check out our recent blogs 7 Signs That Your Spouse May Be Cheating and How to improve your marriage?

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