Are you aggressive, passive, or passive-aggressive? Is there a better way to resolve conflict? All of us have different natures and we can range in a spectrum. Firstly, let us take a look at different personalities and see what characteristic traits they have.
Passive:
The passive person is one who stays quiet and doesn’t respond to stand up for what they believe in. Many times, they have low self-esteem and don’t want to be seen or heard. These people usually tolerate abuse and put up with tyrants or oppressive people because they feel they are worthless. They may feel like they don’t have a strong enough opinion to be able to stand up for themselves. And so many times they just go along with whatever that is. Then on the other extreme, you have individuals that are aggressive, right?
Aggressive:
Aggressive people can show their aggressiveness verbally, physically, or psychologically. A narcissistic person is one who generally thinks very highly of themselves. They feel they are superior to everyone else. They feel that their opinion is always right and when someone disagrees with them, they will get very aggressive. This could be verbal, or they may act in a very condescending manner, telling people off. They may even get physical about it. Aggressive people often interrupt others. They don’t listen or value or respect the opinion of others.
Passive-aggressive:
There are individuals who may be passive-aggressive. These people are not outright aggressive. They will not tell another person off directly but they behave and do things in such a manner that it relays messages that they don’t approve of things you are doing. They can make snarky remarks or ignore you.
So, a passive person can easily be taken advantage of. An aggressive person will step on people’s toes, and a passive-aggressive person will not be able to handle situations in a mature way.
Tips to resolve conflicts:
So, how do you resolve conflict in a successful way without falling into any of the aforementioned spectrums?
I always say that there is a middle path to this. You need to be assertive and stand up for what you believe in, without being aggressive or stepping on anyone. You don’t have to be harsh. You can be firm, kind and get your point across without being disrespectful. And this is something that I really emphasize on The Mindful Hearts Academy. I will teach you to be assertive without sounding bossy. I will help you gain confidence without being aggressive. You don’t have to yell or scream to get your point across. You don’t have to belittle anyone while trying to prove your point.
If you look around and see how some people are good at resolving conflicts, you will see a common pattern. These people are best in conflict resolution. They are assertive and are able to speak their mind. They have control over their emotions. This is one of the most important characteristics of an assertive person. They don’t allow their emotions to take control of themselves or the situation. They stay calm and regulate themselves. They gauge the other person and respond accordingly.
So what makes an assertive person stand out?
Assertive people have a sense of confidence and this is what sets them apart from passive individuals. They have enough confidence to believe in themselves. So, in order to be assertive, you need to have enough confidence in yourself to feel that what you are saying is valuable.
In life, you will have many things that do not go your way, but if you keep overlooking them, you’re going to feel that you don’t have the strength or the confidence to speak up. When a person doesn’t have that sense of self-confidence, they will be taken advantage of.
Unfortunately, aggressive individuals prey on people with low to no self-confidence. They can easily be taken advantage of. That is why children are easily susceptible to abuse. They haven’t developed the art of speaking up for themselves and can have major self-confidence issues. So, we as adults need to have it and we need to embody it in order to pass it on to our children.
So instead of choosing to be passive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive, we can choose to be assertive where we speak our mind in a respectful and firm way. And if you want to learn step-by-step how to gain confidence, feel good about yourself without looking down on anyone else, gain confidence without having any kind of arrogance and maintain humility inside your heart, I really urge you to join the Mindful Hearts Academy. Check out www.mindfulhearts.com. Registrations are open. I can’t wait to give you all the tools and psychological tips within the Islamic framework to help you gain that sense of confidence. I will share many valuable tools to help you deal with difficulties and manage your negative thoughts and emotions.
If we let our emotions run wild, we will be dealing with broken relationships and conflicts at every single point of our lives. This can also affect your physical health and well-being.
So, please join us at Mindful Hearts Academy and transform your life inshAllah. Try it for 30 Days Risk-FREE!
For further guidance, you can find some free courses and content on how to enhance your marriage. Also, you can download a free PDF from the website to benefit from it, Insha’Allah.
https://www.facebook.com/TeachingArabicAsForeignLanguage/
How much do I need for these sessions,pls?
https://www.facebook.com/groups/261233041480298
AselamuAleykum
I heard sister Haleh son give help for school work with kids online a while ago, I want to signup my son, if any of you know his contact or online address share it with me please, Thanks & JZK
Mashaal you doing fnatastic jon
Sister Haleh, please let us know how to draw a line between being forgiving (specially in silah rehmi) and having low self-esteem. Because Islam put much emphasis on afuw o darguzar but when we do that practically, people take us for granted
Assalaamu alaykum shukran
Maasha-Allah may Allah SWT grant you all good health and well-being ameen
Wahleikum Salaam Wahrematullahi. Subhanal’Allah another day listening to today’s lecture Passive/aggressive. Upbringing was to respect the older siblings yet they were the bullies.
hi sweet heart if you remember this is Hami i wanted to tell u that i am giving online coaching let me know if we can collaborate and in top of all i missed u
Hami Adnan Salam Hami! It’s great to hear from you! It’s been over 15 years mashaAllah! I would love to collaborate with you. I started a health group on FB: Get Healthy With Haleh: Healthy Muslim Women. Please join-I have some ideas! You can send me a private message on this page. Miss you too!
I would love to join but Alhamdulillah I don’t have money, so I will continue to follow you here on fbook.
Great work, May Allah accept it from you and May we your followers benefit.
Allahuma Amiin
Assalamu allaykum
Salam aleykum
عليكم السلام
Thank you for sharing this is important topic
Please how do I register
Munawara Hussen Esmael http://www.themindfulhearts.com
How do I register please?
Yeah, want to know too
I am in the middle of both!
Salaam from Canada
Which group to join ? Pls pm
Amber Naseem http://www.themindfulhearts.com
Wasak wrwb
Asalamualikum from The Gambia always beautiful watching u may Allah protect u
Assamu’Aleikum Wahrematullahi. Alhamdhulilah nice to hear your lecture once again. I love it. May your reward be abundance in this world and hereafter.
Salamo alaykom Haleh Banani I m one of your followers an continue to benefit for your insights
Exactly it is true
Exactly so useful topic my dear sister
As Salaamu Alaykoem from Cape town South Africa
Assalaamu’alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh sister Haleh from Oregon.
Asalamunalaikum sister
Assalamualaikum from Singapore