Marriage: A Must-do Thing or Something You Can Avoid?
I am confused about whether marriage is a must-to-do act in Islam OR; instead, it’s just a likable deed that won’t make much difference if you decide NOT to get married (personally, I guess you’re crazy in case you don’t want to marry).
Anyway, these things bother many people, including some who prefer to devote themselves to celibacy (abstaining from marriage and sex), while others just don’t have the time for a wedding.
Cause hey, marriage doesn’t happen overnight! You need to hunt for a suitable mate, then court them, and later on get going with all those grand wedding celebrations at flamboyant marquees, wedding halls, and churches, blah, blah, blah.
Some people would instead pursue knowledge and career choices rather than make time for these “relatively unimportant” activities.
So hey, circling back to our question of the day: Is marriage a non-negotiable, must-commit act OR whether there are certain situations in which it may not be that necessary to find yourself a bride or a groom?
Want to know the answers? Bear with me for a while then:
Can You Choose Not to Get Married?
Nope, absolutely NOT! Yes, not with capitals! And I’m not exaggerating here. The thing is, our Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) himself put a big red cross on celibacy and staying single (on choice). It happened on his Last Hajj (the Farewell Pilgrimage), where he addressed a crowd of 100,000+ Muslim followers and educated them on the core values of Islam for one last time (with marriage being one of the significant talked-about issues here).
He said,
“Marriage is my precept and my practice. Those who do not follow my practice are not of me.”
He also said,
“When a man has married, he has completed one half of his religion.”
On another occasion, he reinforced the value of marriage in the following words:
“Marriage is part of my Sunnah, and whoever does not follow my Sunnah has nothing to do with me. Get married, for I am heartened by your great numbers before the nations (of other Prophets).” (Sunan Ibn Majah)
The Prophet’s Reply to a Companion Who Insisted on Celibacy:
Once, three companions insisted on doing challenging tasks to show their devotion to Allah Almighty and his religion.
One of those men insisted on staying single his whole life and focusing on religion. However, when the Prophet got wind of the news, he immediately called upon the three of them and forbade them from their extremist practices.
He told them that marriage does not degrade your religious enthusiasm. Then, taking his own example, he reminded them that he, as the Prophet, himself married a significant number of times.
He declared marriage as one of his core practices (the Prophet married 13 times in total) and whoever rejects the Way of the Prophet is not from amongst him.
Hence proved, rejection of marriage is not a good thing!
Situations Where You May Not Be Wrong When Staying Single:
Although much weight is laid upon Marriage in Islam, there are certain exclusive situations here you may not be wrong when not tying the knot of marriage.
One is the case where you’re much devoted to the pursuit of knowledge and victory and, while doing so, may be rendered unable to obtain time for marriage.
There have been many saints in the history of Islam previously who, thirsting for knowledge and wisdom, resigned for life before they could pursue marriage.
The other situation is when you lack the resources for getting married or have yet to find the right partner for yourself. Here, unless you’re able to wed a partner for yourself, you may as well practice fasting once every often (as is advised by the Messenger of Allah).
The Prophet said,
“O young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains eyes from casting (evil glances). and preserves one from immorality; but those who cannot should devote themselves to fasting for it is a means of controlling sexual desire.”
Why Marriage is More of a Blessing than an Obligation?
Of the Four Favored Practices of the Prophets:
It’s not just the Last Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) who regarded marriage as one of his Sunnah. Rather than that, other such prophets valued the act of marriage as well:
“Four are from the practices of the Messengers: modesty, the use of perfume, the use of the tooth-stick, and marriage.” (Sunan At-Tirmizi)
Marriage as a Way to please the Prophet:
Which one of us does not wish for a storm of blessings from our beloved Prophet, huh? I do, and I’m pretty sure you hope for the same as well.
Rasool-Allah said,
“Get married, for I am heartened by your great numbers before the nations (of other Prophets).” (Shu’ab Al-Iman)
The above proved that the Prophet used to fancy watching his community thrive and grow in numbers (thus, get married!).
An Act that Brings You Peace, Tranquility, and Mercy:
What better way to signify the value of marriage than to hear it from the Creator Himself, right?
Well, in Surah Ar-Rum in Quran, Allah Almighty himself narrates,
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed, in that are signs for a people who give thought.”
(Surah Ar-Rum, 30:21)
The verses above also explain how your partners serve as a source of finding peace, affection, and mercy.
My Thoughts:
Personally, I’d instead advise you to get married ASAP than not to. A few reasons for such advice include:
Getting married helps you avoid other sinful acts such as adultery, extramarital sex, restrains your eyes from staring at the opposite sex, and many other similar actions banned in Islam.
Also, you get a chance to leave behind your legacy, that is, your kids, to help you carry forward your name rather than dying as a nameless person.
Also, don’t make excuses like, “I don’t have enough money or so,” as these are not the ways of the Prophet. He (the Prophet) would instead hold marriages as simple and expansive (more guests from all walks of life) than extravagant and exclusive (only the rich and able ones).
Seeing my efforts in the speech above, you’d be having a brain worm inside your head unless you choose to get married ASAP!
Want to know more about our relationship advice then check out our blogs like How to solve marriage problems and Unhappy Marriage In Islam.
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