Here’s a powerful secret I want to share with you today. What is the most important gift that you can give to yourself that will not only affect your life 
but affect every relationship that you’re in? Any guesses? It is the gift of unconditional self-acceptance. Yes, that’s right!

What is it all about?

Self-acceptance is when you are able to embrace every aspect of yourself – your positive traits and your negative traits, in order to live a more fulfilling and satisfying life in sha Allah.

It’s easy to celebrate yourself when you win an award or when you get a new job or when you do things right. 

But what about those undesirable traits that pull you down? What if you have an ugly side, and let’s be honest, all of us have an ugly side to us. Maybe there’s a dark side to you. 

Being able to acknowledge the fact that you have that side is the starting point. You have to know where you’re at, in order to know where you’re going to grow in this journey of self-development and unconditional self-love. 

You need to assess yourself and identify your negative traits. It’s not easy to do this. It may hurt your ego tremendously, but this step is necessary to help you heal, grow and develop into an amazing human being inshaAllah.

You need to know your flaws and shortcomings. When you know where you’re slipping, it’s easy to get back up, renew yourself, and bring forth a positive mindset to take on the world.

Recognizing your flaws is an eye-opening experience.

When you hold yourself accountable in this life, it will be easier when you are held accountable on the Day of Judgment.

It’s not easy to do this though. Most of the time, people get very upset and frustrated at themselves when they dwell in areas that are uncomfortable to talk about or reflect upon. Self-acceptance, however, does not mean you condone these behaviors. 

What happens when you reflect?

I have many clients who will tell me they made a huge mistake or mistreated their parents or yelled at their kids, did something wrong or oppressed their spouse, etc. Whatever it is, it is not about condoning that behavior. It’s not about accepting the fact that that was good behavior. It is recognizing that this is a part of you that needs to change and when you start having unconditional self-acceptance, you begin to see your behavior as separate from yourself. 

When you recognize that, you know you’re able to make changes within yourself. When you have low self-esteem, it is very evident that it can lead to a lot of mental health issues like depression, anxiety, etc, but when you have high self-acceptance, it actually serves as a buffer. It serves as a protective layer and lays the foundation for positive mental health.

This is why it is so critical you give yourself a gift of self-love and acceptance now. 

How can you recognize if you actually accept yourself? 

I have clients telling me time and time again that they can’t even begin to accept themselves. So, what is self-acceptance and why is self-acceptance important? There are many aspects but one is when you look in the mirror and are able to accept yourself as you are.

I can understand you may not be happy with where you are right now. Maybe you have certain goals that are yet to be fulfilled, but self-acceptance means recognizing yourself and not beating yourself up just because you don’t look a certain way. 

It is to accept the fact that your past, your family, or your life choices happened for a reason. Allah in His infinite wisdom chose certain people to be in your family for a reason. I know we all have challenging family members and it’s very difficult for people to come to terms with that.

They may just spend their entire life thinking why is this person so unreasonable?

Why are they so negative? 

Why are they so narcissistic?

When we don’t come to terms with their traits, we don’t come to that acceptance. We have a very hard time dealing with them and building a positive relationship with them. This steals the happiness and contentment which we could have otherwise achieved, had we reached the point of self-acceptance. 

When you recognize the people in your lives and recognize your limitations in understanding what you can and can’t do, you will easily lead a fulfilling life. 

The most important gift:

So, if you want to give yourself the gift, the most important gift, as far as being in your best version and which will affect every relationship that you have, you need to ask yourself the next big question – how do you do it?

My mentorship program called “The Mindful Hearts Academy” is here to help you with just that.  Check under “Courses”, and you will find a step-by-step approach where I will hold your hand through it and help you learn how to have that self-acceptance. 

If you have a spouse, a sibling, or a friend who may be struggling and are in a really bad place right now, I want to help you and them get over that. I want you to get to a point where you can truly accept yourself. And once you accept yourself, you’ll be able to accept the people in your lives, whether it is your parents, your spouse, kids, or other people you would come in contact with. 

Join us now in The Mindful Hearts Academy:

Also, I have many free videos and courses related to Saving Your Marriage on my site, halehbanani.com, so be sure to pay a visit if needed.