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YOU! 

Yes, that’s right. The most powerful thing in your marriage is YOU. You have the power to transform your marriage and make your spouse the person of your dreams. 

Many times, people fail to realize the techniques and strategies they can use to make their marriage one that is not only successful but also enriching and fulfilling. 

You have the power to have the most positive impact on your spouse, by being their closest aide and cheerleader. Let’s face it, marriage can be one of the most intimate relationships we can ever experience. Unfortunately, it’s also one of the most complicated relationships that come with the baggage of heartbreaks, negativity, and toxicity. 

It is therefore important to recognize the impact that you can have on your spouse. You have the power to build your spouse up and boost their self-esteem. You can be their biggest source of support and comfort. 

When you use your power against your spouse?

Some people, instead, use their power to crush their spouse’s self-esteem. They push them away and make them feel horrible about themselves. They use this power as a way to manipulate their spouse. They use it as a way of withholding. Sometimes, they withhold intimacy to get what they want or to teach their spouse the lesson. Sadly, people don’t recognize the impact this has on their spouse. This method will never be effective and instead can backfire terribly.

You need to use the power you have to be a source of comfort and love for your spouse. Don’t assume that punishing your spouse will make them behave the way you want them to. 

Many of my clients complain about how frustrated they are with their spouses so much so that they stop responding to their spouse’s calls or text messages. They give them the cold shoulder. People tend to be involved in passive-aggressive behaviors. They don’t receive the call or ignore all sorts of communications. Others can get outright aggressive by saying harsh things or abusing their spouse. This can even get physical at times.

All these techniques just lead to destruction,  heartache, and emotional distress for everyone involved. 

Your spouse can open your path to Jannah

Realize that your spouse can be your way to Jannah. When you use your power to connect on an emotional level with your spouse and make them pleased with you, you would incredibly benefit your relationship in this life and score Jannah points in the hereafter. 

Yes, there are times when we will be frustrated with our spouse. We will be disappointed. It’s natural to withhold or pull away for some time, but if you make this the norm, you are not just punishing your spouse but punishing yourself too. 

Does your spouse seem distant?

When you become emotionally distant from them thinking you are teaching them a lesson, what’s actually happening is that your spouse will begin to shut down emotionally and not open up to you. They will not be motivated to be their absolute best when they receive silent treatment from you.

Your spouse will think that this whole relationship is just not worth it. They will feel that it is better to remain silent and let things go instead of opening up emotionally and dealing with hardships and heartaches thereafter. 

A lot of women express that their spouses don’t share their emotions and have shut down. The reason for this is because they have been receiving silent treatments and crushing words from their wives. When the wife withholds affection and destroys the man’s self-esteem, they end up using their power against their spouse. 

Learn to deal with conflicts

Use your frustration to effectively deal with conflicts that come in marriage. You don’t have to crush each other with harsh words or stop talking altogether. Instead, learning to deal with conflicts can help your relationship thrive. This is what I teach in the Five pillars to marriage program. I give step-by-step instructions on how to avoid conflict, what to do when you are in a conflict and how to solve it.

I teach you to take your power back and use it as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with your spouse. Yes, there will be good days and bad days, but how we react in such situations will determine our relationship.

Words you utter in anger or frustration will have a lasting impact on your marriage. Your words of insult will not be easily forgotten, so learn to use your power to get your point across without hurting your spouse’s sentiments. 

Use your power to make your relationship a source of comfort and joy, not to manipulate and punish because these don’t bring any benefit to you or your spouse. 

If you haven’t already signed up for the Five pillars to marriage program, do it now and learn step-by-step techniques to make your marriage a means of you entering Jannah. 

Marriage is hard work but with Allah’s help, you can really make your marriage a piece of heaven on earth. 

Start Saving Your Marriage Today, Download the free PDF:

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