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Take control of your negative emotions when everything is going wrong!

by | Feb 17, 2021 | Islamic Psychology and Spirituality | 55 comments

How do you control your negative emotions when everything is going wrong in life? That’s what I want to share with you today. Right now, we are being tested more than ever with lockdown and COVID. People all over the world have suffered unimaginable losses in terms of health, wealth, and financial security. The recent storm in Texas left people crippled with no electricity, water and essential commodities for days together.

So how do we respond to such situations in life, when we face scenarios that are mostly beyond our control? The general reaction is to get caught up with negative emotions and fall in despair, get frustrated, and complain about how everything seems to be going wrong.

How many of us remind ourselves that everything is actually under Allah’s control? Allah tells us repeatedly in the Quran that it is He who created life and it is He who causes death. He (SWT) also reminds us that this life is going to be filled with tests, hardships, and trials, and successful is he who places his trust upon Allah and strives to please Him under all circumstances,

We have to, therefore, recognize that our responses, how we deal with calamities, and manage our emotions will have a direct impact on our Dunya and akhira. When you focus on passing the test instead of focusing on the calamities or tests, you will be in a win-win situation.

The Spiritual Storage:

When the pandemic hit us, there was a huge rush to stock up on bare essentials just to be prepared for what lies ahead. If you are in an area that faces snowstorms or hurricanes, you must be aware of the preparation that begins when you hear the news of a climate disaster that’s going to strike. People stock up on food, water, and important commodities to prepare themselves for the difficult road ahead. Similarly, you have to stock up on spiritual storage in order to be prepared for the struggles and tests that will inadvertently hit you in life.

The prayers you’re doing, the Quran that you are reciting regularly, the dhikr you are whispering, and the Islamic classes you have been attending, all act as spiritual storage to help you deal with difficult situations that arise in life. If you do your spiritual preparation well, your heart and mind will be ready to handle any difficulty that’s thrown your way. You will inshaAllah pass the test.

This is the difference between people who starve and people who thrive. The ones who starve are usually the ones who were not prepared to face the hurricane or the snowstorm, while those who thrive are usually the ones who went out of their way to get prepared and face the challenge that’s thrown at them.

Our Sahabas were tested in unimaginable ways, but the reason they succeeded is that they were well prepared. This made them stronger mentally, spiritually, and psychologically.

Therefore, focus on making your spiritual storage stronger inshaAllah

Acceptance:

When faced with a test, you can complain, get frustrated and mad, or just accept it as Allah’s decree and let your heart know that Allah knows what’s best for you. When you remind yourself that you are not in control and that it is Allah who is in control and is capable of doing all things, your heart will experience a certain level of peace and calmness that would never happen otherwise.

You will realize that there is hidden wisdom behind every trial, and a reward awaiting you that’s beyond measure. When you surrender to Allah’s will instead of fighting it, you will have a great sense of control when coping with negative emotions.

Take action:

It is not sufficient to just accept Allah’s decree. You need to take positive action. You cannot sit and wait for things to become alright. You have to get up and do what is necessary to right the wrongs. You have to recognize that there are things you can control.

Yes, there are so many things right now out of our control. We have no control over the weather. We have no control over pandemics. We have no control over so many things in our lives, but you do have control over your attitude.

You have control over how you respond to these calamities. You could just sit there and whine and complain all day long and get everybody down or you could say, “I’m going to take positive action. I’m going to do something.”

By doing this, you become a positive source of energy for those around you, whether that is your family, your community, or your neighbors. Sometimes, people are so focused on themselves and the situation that they find themselves in that they fail to get up and take the first step. Don’t be that person. Go out of your way to help people around you even when things are not going as planned in your life. When you go out of your way to help people, Allah will send His help over to you! So, get out there. Support organizations of your choice, donate if you can, or spread a word of kindness and love to those around you. These small gestures can bring about mountains of good deeds into your account, ease your situation and help you to deal with negative emotions in life.

When you help others, it automatically removes you from the state of helplessness and hopelessness. When you have a positive mindset, the negative emotions will become minuscule. Life is short and you will be tested, but the more grateful you are, the easier these tests will become.

We are generally very careful about the physical ailments and diseases but we have to work upon the diseases or our hearts because these diseases cannot be witnessed by the human eye. This is what makes the diseases of the heart so much more powerful and lethal. Jealousy, hatred, evil eye, wishing the worst for others, being stingy, showing off, indulging in lies, and deceit is just some of the many diseases of the heart that can completely ruin your life and your relationship with Allah. So let us strive to cleanse our hearts and get closer to Allah. When we do this, it will automatically become easier to deal with negative situations that come up in life insha’Allah.

Join us at Mindful Hearts Academy. Try it for 30 Days Risk-FREE!

For further guidance, you can find some free courses and content on how to enhance your marriage. Also, you can download a free PDF from the website to benefit from it, Insha’Allah.


By Haleh Banani, M.A.

Haleh Banani holds a Master's degree in Clinical Psychology. A faith-based counselor, life coach, and mental health professional who has served the community since 1998 by saving hundreds of marriages and helping thousands of people around the world overcome their challenges and become the most amazing version of themselves.
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55 Comments

  1. Abdulqahar Rasooli

    ماشاالله ماشاالله ماشاالله ماشاالله ماشاالله ماشاالله ماشاالله ماشاالله ماشاالله ماشاالله ماشاالله

  2. Soulef Rhouma

    السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

  3. Oum Benjamin

    @ Nora El Ayyaty-Hilali

  4. Nadia Maryam

    Much needed message , Jazakallah Khair

  5. Tahirah Tanwani

    May Allah SWT keep you and your family safe.

  6. Nadia Kara

    Thumma Ameen

  7. Amanda Davids

    Asalamleykum wa barakatehu sister

  8. Hira Akhtar

    Assalam o Alaikum. May you and your family be safe. Aameen

  9. Noor Moussawi

    Boy did I need this tonight, jzk

  10. Manal Rima

    Jazaki Allah Kharioun brilliant thank you. May Allah swt protect u and yr family.

  11. Zarghuna Khan

    Allahumna aamean Jazakallah khearan kasera aaameannnnn

  12. Vee Be

    Alhumdilah

  13. Zubeida Ottley

    Assamu’Aleikum Wahrematullahi Wabrakatuh. Nice to listen to today’s lecture.

  14. Mariam Abeni Abdul Salam

    Appreciating u always ma’am, Allah’s Rahman on u always….

  15. Fadia Van Witt

    Assalamu Alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatu. Ameen Yaa Rabbal Alaameen

  16. Sandra Labadia

    You are truly a blessing, Haleh, Masha^Allah

  17. Adeela Syed

    JazakAllah khair

  18. Shehra Peer

    Allah swt bless us with Aafiyah. Aameen

  19. Sez Shez

    How exactly do we do the internal work though when it comes to the diseases of the heart as I’m always stuck in the same place for years.

    • Haleh Banani

      Sez Shez I train women to do the internal work and feel empowered by overcoming emotional obstacles and learning to elevate themselves to being the best version of themselves. Join us on The Mindful Hearts http://www.themindfulhearts.com

  20. Hayat Dachra

    Lujane Elarif

  21. Shakira Trook

    Shaida Banu Karim Shaida Banu Karim

  22. Wolke Jannah

    Please safe 🙂

  23. Wolke Jannah

    Can you save this live Video?

  24. Shahnaz Bano

    وَعَلَيْكُم اَلسَلامُ وَرَحْمَةُ اَللهِ وَبَرَكاتُهُ

  25. Aminat Adebayo

    Asalaam alykum waramotulahi wabarakahtul sis and everyone

  26. Janice Maria

    WaAlaikom asalam dear sister. Dua’as for all 41 States affected by winter storms. In January and February we received 40” in Chicago

  27. Narema Ali

    Salam

  28. Livia Mahmood

    Jazzak Allah cher sister Haleh

  29. Nadia Parker

    Such good advice Algamdulilah

  30. Jabhar Fazila

    Great words. Great advice. Always look forward to hearing you.

  31. Shobha Hemchand Khan

    Thank you sister for your inspiration about life

  32. Fatima Aziz

    I needed this. Thank you for beautiful words

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