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4 steps to overcome your insecurities.

by | Feb 5, 2021 | Islamic Psychology and Spirituality, Self-Improvement | 16 comments

What are the four steps to overcoming your insecurity? 

Everyone suffers from some level of insecurity. These insecurities in your life can actually break down and damage your relationships. It can damage the way you feel about yourself, your ability to achieve, your ability to have lasting success and lasting relationships.

So how do we improve our insecurities? There are four steps I’m going to share with you in this article. Read on to find out what they are. 

1- Come To Terms:

The first step to stop being insecure is to acknowledge the fact that you have insecurity. You need to face the feeling that you are insecure and come to terms with it. When you are not in denial about it, you will step into the pain and will know how to face it. You will acknowledge that you have an issue. Once you know that this is an area that you need to work on, it creates a breakthrough that will help you learn and heal. When you recognize that you have a problem, you’re halfway there in solving the problem. When you fail to recognize that you have a problem, you will not put in the effort to try to resolve it. 

2- Recognize Your Limiting Beliefs:

What are your limiting beliefs? Do you think you are not smart enough or not pretty enough, or not capable enough? Do you think you are too lazy? Whatever it may be when you repeatedly say these things to yourself over and over again, or if you’ve had people say this to you, realize that this is how your insecurity stems from. It stems from what our parents have told us or what our friends make us believe. These words become our internal dialogue, and we begin believing in them. When you acknowledge your limiting beliefs, you will be able to adjust to them. This acknowledgment will set you free. 

So, to get rid of your insecurities discover what your limiting beliefs are, and then take the steps towards dismantling them and developing new empowering beliefs. 

3- Do Away With Perfectionism:

Perfectionism is that desire deep down to do everything perfectly. Although this expectation from yourself is praiseworthy, it is also very limiting. When you do something that’s not up to your expectations, you will start believing that you are not worthy of love unless you’re perfect. Perfectionism has a lot to do with this desire and this craving for wanting to be loved. For overcoming insecurity, we need to acknowledge the fact that this perfectionism doesn’t exist. When you have unrealistic expectations and set expectations for yourself that are not attainable, you will feel very discouraged. You will stop trying and that will not help you move forward. Perfectionism stops progress, so stop expecting yourself to be perfect. 

4- Have A Growth Mindset:

A growth mindset is when you view a problem as a gift. When you look at it this way, you will reframe and look for what is good in the situation. This mindset will help you learn from your setbacks rather than being limited by them. When you do not have a growth mindset, you will always be looking at problems instead of looking for solutions. These people will have a victim mentality and will blame every single thing around them instead of working on themselves to set things right.

When you look at your problems as an opportunity to learn and grow, then you won’t limit yourself. When you fail and learn from your mistakes, you will learn to grow. Be open and acknowledge that you have shortcomings. This is powerful in helping you to deal with your insecurities. When these insecurities are not addressed, they break down the relationships. You will not have a healthy relationship with yourself or those around you. This will lead to a lot of resentment and unhappiness. You will constantly be in a state of comparing yourself to others and tearing yourself and others down. 

What Happens If You Have These Insecurities In A Relationship?

These insecurities will make you feel intimidated. You may become possessive and controlling because when you feel you’re not good enough, it will affect your rapport with your close ones and have damaging impacts on your relationships.

Many people have insecure feelings about how they look. No matter how blessed they are, they feel they look imperfect because of the unrealistic standards set by the media. Many stay-at-home mothers feel insecure because they feel they don’t have a sense of purpose with all their time and energy revolving around household chores and children for years together. Some have insecurity about their deen while others have an insecurity that they haven’t achieved much. 

Whatever your insecurity may be, use the aforementioned steps to stop and analyze your situation. How realistic are your expectations about yourself? Is it something that is within your control? Can you do something about it? Is it something that you have to come to terms with? 

If you want to work on your insecurities and overcome them, check out the “Mindful Hearts Academy” under the “Courses” section on this website. I will give you a step-by-step guideline on how to build your self-esteem and get over your insecurities to live a life that is fulfilling and thriving inshaAllah. It’s never too late to start working on yourself. When you overcome your insecurities, you will feel more confident and be at peace with yourself. Your relationships will improve because when you come into a relationship with a sense of security, confidence, and inner happiness, it will create a perfect formula for success.

Join us at Mindful Hearts Academy. Try it for 30 Days Risk-FREE!

For further guidance, you can find some free courses and content on how to enhance your marriage. Also, you can download a free PDF from the website to benefit from it, Insha’Allah.


By Haleh Banani, M.A.

Haleh Banani holds a Master's degree in Clinical Psychology. A faith-based counselor, life coach, and mental health professional who has served the community since 1998 by saving hundreds of marriages and helping thousands of people around the world overcome their challenges and become the most amazing version of themselves.
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16 Comments

  1. Ajrisa Asanovska

    Esmira Asanovska Islam Mersiha Ademoska Mensura Meta

  2. Wafa Mahdi

    Mina Mina

  3. Sez Shez

    People say to write something positive near your limiting beliefs but ı have nothing positive right so it wouldn’t make a difference to me or to make me believe in my self. Too much damage from the past or from my fate is done

  4. Ruqiya Ibrahim

    I am really interested to join in

  5. Ruqiya Ibrahim

    Asaalam Aleikum Warhmtullahi waabrktu, siz how can I join the mindful

  6. Ahd Omar Bsharat

    Your words are always inspiring me

  7. Maya Hadie

    On the 28th of January I have received a notification if I wanted to participate in an event the secret power to being a better Muslim that was supposed to run today the 6th and where it was asking a 20 dollar participation and that was a post with your name. Was it legit or was I conned because I have paid and even got a receipt for it. Thanks

  8. Jodda Nonna

    May Allah bless you

  9. Nana Bahrin

    Waalaikumussalam

  10. Ali Shahzad

    Wallikum ASALAM

  11. Iulia Kanaan

    Walaikum Salam!Warm regards from London!

  12. Janice Maria

    Asalamu alaikom from the Lakeview Area of Chicago

  13. Garip Kul

    Wealeykumselam

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