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7 ways to deal with a distant and cold spouse.

by | Nov 2, 2020 | Islamic Psychology and Spirituality | 74 comments

7 ways to deal with a distant and cold spouse.

By Haleh Banani, M.A.

Haleh Banani holds a Master's degree in Clinical Psychology. A faith-based counselor, life coach, and mental health professional who has served the community since 1998 by saving hundreds of marriages and helping thousands of people around the world overcome their challenges and become the most amazing version of themselves.
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74 Comments

  1. Naasiha Jamal

    My hubby has plenty of space, he work till 5pm thereafter he starts gaming then watches you tube videos till 10pm and then I’m asleep all my efforts for 9 yrs have been brushed away, so I can’t do it to please Allah,sorry as it will be a lie & I do not lie or fake feelings but I’ll be civil

  2. Naasiha Jamal

    9 yrs…I give him the same treatment. Why must my heart hurt only we can’t start couples therapy until we start our own therapy,separately.

  3. UM Gamini

    Madam. You. Not. Understand. My. First. Thing. Speak. My. Wife. Before. Marage. Please. Madam. Don’t. Ask. Again. Please. Please. Again. Ask. You. And. Me. Angry. Ok

  4. UM Gamini

    This. OK. I. Wont..speak. my. Wife. Why. You. Don’t. Give. This. How. Many. Month. Now. I. Never.. She. Bring. To. Here. Only. Speak. Not. Sleep. You. Don’t. Understanding.. My. Tell. I’m. Not. Mareed. This. Woman. You. Not. Try. To. Me. Again

  5. UM Gamini

    I’m. Out. Don’t. Ask. Any. Thing

  6. UM Gamini

    Madam. Please. You. Give.. Very. Big. Problem. Stop. This. I’m. Not. Marage. Don’t ask. Again. Me. Please. Stop. Stop. One. More. Come. Angry. You. And. Me. Please. Stop

  7. UM Gamini

    My. Wife. Bring. To. Me. Speak. Why. Your. Not. Give. To. Speak. She. Not. Come. I’m. Not. Mareed. Stop. This

  8. UM Gamini

    Good morning. I. Don’t. No. Not. Understand. Your. Sistteom. Very. Change. I. Can’t. Do. I. Forget. This. I’m. Not. Come. Please. Not. Angry. With. Me. Very. Sorry

  9. UM Gamini

    We’re. My. Wife. Who. Is. Come

  10. UM Gamini

    Who. Is. Come. I. Never. Sea. Any. One

  11. UM Gamini

    Madam. My. Feeling. Not. Like. Other. People. I. Don’t. Won’t. Like. Other. People. You. No. Madam. You. Hand. Have. Five. Finger. The. All. Not. Same. I. No. My. Wife. My. Child. My. Mother. My. Father. I. Love. This. All. But. I. Don’t. Won’t. To. Look. Other. People. The. Only. My. Hard. Why. I. Won’t. To. Show. Other. People. Madam. I’m. Not. Animal. I. No. How. To. Live. Good. Way. Bad. Way. I. Have. Very. Good. Hard. I. Love. World. People. Madam. Allah. Pest. You

  12. Leo Rudy

    Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh Rizuan mimpi misteri Ridzwan cuti istinjak guna tisu antena since i am going working i don’t understand what you say nabi Muhammad Alaihi Salam semua MP3 juice

  13. UM Gamini

    I. Say. You. More. Then. Hundred. Time. I’m. Happy. All. Time. Please. Stop. Don’t. Won’t. Marred.

  14. UM Gamini

    I’m. Not. Come. I. Come. With. Out. Marred. I. Don’t. Like. Your. Rules..

  15. UM Gamini

    Please. Madam. I. Don’t. Won’t. Marred. Your. Have. Big. Problem. Me. I. Don’t. Like. Your. Like. I. Come. WTF. Out. Marred. Please. Stop. This. I. Don’t. Like. Your. Not. Stop. This. I’m. Not. Come. I. Go. Next. Gruop

  16. UM Gamini

    Madam. You. Ask. Seven. I. Tell. You. Only. One. Now. I. Have. Not. Problem. I. Like. This. My. Last. Word. Don’t. Ask. Any. Thing. OK. Madam. But. Before. All. Problem. Your. Council. Problem. Not. My. There. My.mantal…brokan. now. Is. All. OK. Don’t. Ask. Again

  17. Rahmatallah Erundupe Ajoke

    Wa alaykhum salam sister, very good sermon but after getting empowered about Narcissist abuse, over the years, I’m afraid this sermon doesn’t resonate with Narcissist, when we talk about Narcissism. Thank you.

  18. UM Gamini

    Why. You. Won’t. Tell. Me. Your. Come. I’m. Out

  19. Rouh Asalam

    الله أكبر. ☻

  20. UM Gamini

    Madam. Sri. Lanka. Is. Paradise. Very. Good. Country. I. Think. World. Best. People. Here. I’m. Not. Live. Jungle. I. Have. Good. Meners. .my. job. Tourisam. I. Like. People. I. Love. People.

  21. Frances Krevolt Kanabar

    How often do you think you need counseling when you have these problems that you’re talking about and you are separated he lives one place and you’re living another place tonight he went to the movies I talk to him he said he was going 00 you should’ve mentioned something I would like to go on with you but he didn’t say nothing and I said of that’s OK if I we have a date I don’t wanna fight over it he needs to get his do you wanna call it I know I’ve been shooting him for 40 years I’ve never ever cheated on my husband I’ve always been a good wife I work with him he’s a doctor family practice I met him before he became a doctor he didn’t become a doctor to lose 40 years old and I should be signed him and work with him as his nurse receptionist cleaning lady whatever it took plus took care of our two children plus then I had cancer two times in the last 15 years and they kind of changed me a little bit but I’m getting back into the swing of things I feel I’ve lost a lot of weight my body is gotten better looking I look good in clothes I’m thinking about myself right now because I do have to gain some weight back when we separated I was 130 now I’m 94 I’m eating but I’m not gaining and he’s been really good around he’s been helping me at all because in January I had an accident but I don’t think he still wants to come back yet keeping him away I don’t know what it is maybe‘s afraid to come home I don’t know but we’re supposed to go back to family Counseling this month I need to call and make an appointment but I don’t feel an hour a week is going to help us I think we need more time together to show each other that much we do care for each other and love each other if I feel I love him still even though he’s did some things that were not right it hurt my heart very much after all these years being with him and going and doing what I was supposed to do as a wife but I’m willing to try I’m 73 now Vince with him for 40 years we have two children boy and a girl 36 and 39 what are your feelings about this I sent him your tapes but he I said you should your experience in this field and you want to keep marriages together

  22. Atasha Umar

    Thank You So Much.. Great Help

  23. Samsiah Sulong

    Ma sya Allah tabarakallah, very good points. Jazakallahukhairan sister

  24. Halima Nina

    ALHAMDULlLLAH

    • Tijani Mohammed Lamin

      MashaAllah for a beautiful name Halima. It’s a very common name in my country.

  25. Lucie Tardif

    You’re not feeding him.

  26. Maryum Taqdees

    All the points are valid and I would practice them definitely but I know many women who’s husbands started being cold to them when they had their babies , which is the hardest time in a woman’s life ( also hard for men but more so for women physically and psychologically) so they don’t have the energy and ability to manage their spouses and the marriage breaks, which is so relatable and understandable for women.

  27. Semon Ali

    masha allah

  28. Marian Deeq

    ASC sister

  29. Afshan Hussain

    Great and useful points. Jzk sister May god bless you

  30. Afshan Hussain

    Sometimes when you give space and respect, that becomes the norm and you end up like two strangers in one home.

    • Farhana Hoque

      Afshan Hussain that’s so true.

      • Reena Nishil

        Yup,that’s so true..

  31. Rowzana Mulaffer

    Jazakhallah khair sis amazing content May Allah reward u

  32. Ash Jan

    Cyma Tahir

  33. Rytag Alhaj

    Masha Allah beautiful advice God bless you

  34. Maya Hadie

    Well. Sometimes just feel like in your own! It does feel good not to talk

  35. Jarna Hall

    Thank you for your advice dear sister may Allah bless you reward you
    Our Salaam to you sister I hope your mom is doing ok she is my dua you all

  36. Mahy M Ali

    Yassmina Ahmed Aly

  37. Samina Yar

    Jazakh Allah for good advice.

    • Samreen Bhutta

      MashaAllah do u discuss one on one

  38. Adz Mahomed

    Shukran sister love your advice and your videos appreciate all the help you give everyone Masalama from love these videos keep up the good work alhamdulilah

  39. Hassina Kajee

    Subhaanallah. May you be blessed abundantly Sister Haleh

  40. Lucille Laird

    Beautiful advise thank you

  41. Farhy Ipdow

    Masha Allah, I love this sister I have benefited a lot from her advice even though my marriage has ended

  42. Binte Hawaa

    Mehwish Javid

  43. Hanane Zennouhi

    هل انتم في تكساس؟ ،انا جيت من المغرب وابحث عن عمل

  44. Jazmine Hardison

    Omg You came after I talked to a divorce lawyer. Lol

    • Bilaal Jagessur

      I need your help please as my wife is adamant about divorce which she filed already

  45. Manal Rima

    Alhumdilah MashAllah sound advice jazaki Allah Kheiroun

  46. Sammiya Ishad

    What a great reminder. Alhamdulilah!!

  47. Melody L Krasz

    Assalaamu’alaykum from Oregon.

  48. Eshrat Meshkat

    Thanks allot for your great job.

  49. Shahla Shariff

    Please can you kindly upload the session after it is complete. It’s very hard with little kids to attend live. Jazaakallah khairan

      • Touqeer Fatima

        Shahla Shariff Assalaam Alaikum. How are you?

        • Shahla Shariff

          Hey!! Lovely to hear from you. Yes we are doing great alhamdulillah. Kids growing up fast alhamdulillah. Does haleh post all her live sessions ? Where can I find a kind of a library of her videos? Wud it be in her facebook page? I love her inspirational videos. She is such a blessing to the ummah! Wish we had a role model like this when we were little.

          • Shahla Shariff

            I found her library on her facebook account. Yaayyy alhamdulillah

  50. Naz Ullah

    Salam alaykum! Thank you for doing this!

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