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How often do you feel you are falling behind in life? There are two key aspects to be kept in mind. Watch this video to find out.

If you feel like you’re falling behind in life and not exactly where you think you should be, read on. 

Many people complain that their life is not going according to their time plan or like how they imagined it to be. This could be a delay in their marriage when all their friends are married or they haven’t had kids yet. Maybe they haven’t completed college yet or are behind regarding their business. Irrespective of what it may be when you feel that you’re constantly behind, it’s a horrible mental burden to carry.

It’s often easy to compare yourself to others and think we’re not at a particular stage where society wants us to be. So what do you do? What do you do when you’re feeling left behind? What do you do when you start comparing yourself and you feel this intense pressure to be on top? 

I’m going to give you two powerful tips to apply so that you can embrace what is happening in your life right now. 

1. Embrace the detours: 

How many times have you taken a route and gone wrong? Let’s say you were on a road trip and you took the wrong turn. What happens? You may have gone in the wrong direction but you would have probably seen stunning scenery which you’d have otherwise missed had you taken the right route. It’s the same with life. Realize that sometimes, when you have detours in your life, these detours are actually meant for you. You have to embrace it rather than feel upset about it.  

Allah says in the Quran:

“And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.” (AL-Baqarah, 2:216)

Let’s say your marriage gets delayed, or you are not able to get into med school, forcing you to take a gap year, you may feel like your life is not going according to your timeline. Some might feel that they got married at the wrong time or should have had kids later on or should have looked out for a job soon after, but these regrets will only pull you back from achieving more in life. 

Realize that whatever decision you took at that point of time in your life was the best decision that you could have taken at the time, with the circumstances that you were in. So, know that there is a reason for everything that you’re going through in life. 

Allah’s timing is perfect. 

I remember once when we were doing a family road trip in Spain, we happened to take the wrong turn and we saw the most beautiful country road. And it was like, “Wow, we wouldn’t have ever seen this.” And sometimes in our lives, that is what’s happening. We take the detour, but it is meant for us. 

Trust the timing in your life. Share your journeys with others instead of comparing with others because when you do that, you’ll see that so many people have that same pressure and tension in their lives as you do. No one has it all figured out. It may seem like someone’s life is perfect but everyone has their own demons and battles that they’re fighting. 

2. Stop Comparing:

The second thing is to stop comparing. I know how hard it is, but you need to stop comparing yourself to others because comparing is the thief of joy. It steals you of any happiness, and joy you have because you feel like, “Oh my gosh, I’m not as good or as smart or as accomplished as them.” This can really take you down.

Instead, start comparing yourself to yourself. Compare yourself to your past. Make a commitment that you want to be better than what you were last year. And when you’re committed to competing with your own self, your own abilities, there’s no animosity in your heart. You’re not going to be jealous of other people.

You will not harbor feelings of wanting to tear other people down. When you’re trying to be your absolute best and striving to be better than you were before, that leads to a healthy mindset.

Put blinders and be focused on what it is that you’re doing. If you’re constantly looking left and right and seeing what others are doing, it can instill a lot of anxiety in your mind. 

Focus on yourself instead of competing and comparing. Just focus on being your absolute best. When you’re constantly comparing yourself with others, the jealousy that builds up can turn into a disease in your heart. This disease is then going to start showing in the way you behave. It’s going to show in everything that you do. 

Our main objective as Muslims is to purify our hearts. We want all the good deeds to count, right? When we get jealous of others, we are constantly burning away our good deeds. 

Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said,

"Beware of jealousy, for verily it destroys good deeds the way fire destroys wood." [Abu Dawood]

Having true Imaan means that we want for our brother or sister, what we want for ourselves. There’s no jealousy there. 

3- Digital detox:

With the advent of social media, the comparison with other people’s lives has skyrocketed. That’s why there’s such a huge rise in depression and anxiety amongst the general masses these days. Do a little bit of a digital detox. There are some people that may just trigger you. They may either be very negative or triggering. You might compare yourself to them on a constant basis. A social media detox can do wonders. Put those apps on mute. Snooze them for a month. Try it and see the immense difference it brings to your quality of life. In fact, when you step away from social media, you can focus more on what you have at hand. This can actually make you more productive and help you achieve so much more in life when compared to scrolling endlessly on social media and going through a cycle of comparison and depression.

Lastly, realize that Allah knows what’s best for you and when you need what in life, so trust His timing and keep striving to be the best version of yourself inshaAllah. 

Join us at Mindful Hearts Academy. Try it for 30 Days Risk-FREE!

For further guidance, you can find some free courses and content on how to enhance your marriage. Also, you can download a free PDF from the website to benefit from it, Insha’Allah.

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