What is the main reason that passion is lost in marriage and how can we bring it back? One of the biggest complaints I hear from couples worldwide is that they feel no passion in marriage after a certain period of time. People just wait for passion to come back or don’t have any idea how to bring it back into their marriage.
Marriage is a series of things. One issue is not independent of the other. In my “Five Pillars of Marriage” program, I give you step-by-step guidance on how you can ignite and nurture the spark in your marriage even if you’ve had challenges and misunderstandings in the past.
However, here are five steps to help you get started to reignite the passion in your marriage and make it work inshaAllah.
1- Fill your own cup:
You have to be at your best in order to give your best to those around you. You have to feel great about yourself and overcome any kind of depression, anxiety, or self-image issues in order to radiate positive vibes and spark your marriage. If your cup is empty, you will not be able to contribute to your marriage, leaving the other person drained out and exhausted. When you give, you will automatically receive!
2- Friendship:
Marriage is a beautiful partnership that can only be strengthened and nurtured if you are able to develop and build a strong friendship. When you deal with friends, you don’t hold lofty expectations or grudges against them. You genuinely want the best for them and are able to open up to them and share your worries and happiness without having to think twice. The same should hold true for your marriage. You must be able to freely express and discuss your issues without wondering what your spouse might think or how they would perceive your point of view. You can reach this state of understanding and comfort only when you have a certain amount of friendship and respect for each other.
3- Spirituality:
You cannot achieve anything in life without Allah’s help, support and guidance. When you feel your relationship is not the way you want it to be, assess your relationship with your Creator and see how connected you are to Him and His commandments. Are you following Allah’s rules? Are you praying on time? Are you indulging in sins? Assess yourself and see your equation with Allah. When you strengthen your relationship with Allah, you will find many things falling in place.
4- Conflict Resolution:
Every single person goes through challenges and difficulties in marriage. Misunderstandings, anger, fights and heartbreaks are common in marriages worldwide. While some people are able to overcome their differences and move on, others have a hard time letting go and moving forward. The difference between the two is conflict resolution. You need to learn the tools to solve your differences rather than brushing them under the carpet or letting them pile up into a big mountain. This is what I teach in my “Five Pillars of Marriage” program.
5- Physical intimacy:
Men are masculine and women are more feminine – opposites attract as we all know! For women, since we are becoming more successful in our workforce, we have adopted a lot of male-like characteristics. While these characteristics are crucial in a work environment, you have to adopt a different approach at home with your husband. If you don’t embrace your femininity at home, men will not find you attractive enough.
The same can be said about men. They are adopting characteristics and behaviors that are not true to their real self, making them less appealing to women. This may make the woman feel that she is not being protected enough. She may complain that her husband does not defend her when needed, or does not give her the emotional safety that she yearns for.
Men don’t like women who boss over them. Women don’t like men who are pushovers.
It is therefore very important to understand where you need to behave with what type of characteristics. Your workplace might require you to be bossy, but you cannot carry that over to your home. Similarly, men might need to soften a bit in other situations but a woman expects her man to stand up for her, protect her and defend her when needed.
When you develop those characteristics, it will naturally attract your spouse. You will automatically notice a sudden passion in your marriage.
To conclude:
Invest your time and energy in your marriage. Complement each other. Spend time together. Communicate respectfully and go out of your way to make your spouse feel special. Most importantly, keep Allah as the focal point in your lives. Satan works hard to tear families apart. We must work harder to make things fall in place. Your spouse is not the enemy, Satan is! When you go out of your way to make your marriage work, Allah will bless you abundantly in it. This of course does not apply to people who are staying in abusive, toxic relationships.
May we be a source of peace and comfort for our spouses. May we convert our homes into safe sanctuaries for our spouses to find solace in. Ameen
Jazaki Allahu khairun
These tips are useful for the couples who don’t live with in-laws, in joint families like the ones in Pakistan and India nothing works, everything every emotion every relation is a mess with everyone in the house poking their noses into couples personal affairs, nothing works
Ma sha Allah Allah bless you
We like quick fixes but marriage is hard work, it requires constant reflection and self assessment!
Hi Haleh
Thanks a lot for your charity to the world in teaching the tools how to deal with their marriage!
Mashallah Tabarak Allah
Sending hugs and prayers
You are one of a kind sister
Jazaka alkhaira
Asalaam sister this is my first time listening in algamdullilah
MashaAllah I love you and your message
Tammy Meiners Amin You’re so sweet! Thanks!
You are e best thank you for empowering us women
Faiyaz786
Tahseen Prem
May your reward be abundance Ameen thuma Ameen
Subhanal’Allah that’s what I need right now cos am going through a change and I’ve just become a bully and hubby is the victim. He is just a loving and caring person. It’s heartbreaking to see the changes in my behaviour and feelings to be just argumentative. This is new to me and it’s not me.
Jazakalah Khayr sister
Wkslm
ما احوجنا لتلك المعلومات الجميله
Jazaki Allah khair from Casablanca Morocco
Mashallah beautiful sister I love your videos so inspiring may Allah bless you and your family ameen I listen to your videos just before bed Time
Adz Mahomed Jazakillah Khair! I really appreciate it. Alhamdulillah it’s beneficial.
Assalamu alaikum I love you
Who’s typing the replies on your behalf lol.
Fagmedah Fay Gihwala My husband! He’s my biggest support mashaAllah
Fagmedah Fay Gihwala This is sr. Haleh’s husband Abdulmajid Adam Muriby Always ready to help my amazing wife tabark Allah!
Haleh Banani MashaAllah … Great to have a supportive husband
Haleh Banani MashaAllah brother nice to chat to you . Yes you have an amazing wife!!! I think you are an amazing family. I have seen pictures of all of you since I started following sr. Haleh 🙂
assalamu alaikum sister.
First time pregnancy is taking a emotional toll on me. So much going on
Breathe sis, ALLAH will be your aid. Inshaallah
Ameen, zajakillah khairan
Shukran to you. This is exactly what I needed.
Assalamualaikum
I love watching you Mashaa Allah – great guidance and advice Baarakallaahu Feekum
Fatima Zahraah Abduraouf Jazakum Allah Khair wa feekum barak Allah I’m so happy you are benefiting from the lessons 🙂
Assalamu Alaikum my dear sister Haleh
Walaikum Assalam wa rahmatullah 🙂
where r u from???
United States of America
Ameen and your marriage too
Can you please adress on how to maintain a good marriage during pregnancy
I love you soooo much
Khawla Tabassum You’re so sweet! Thank you for all the love
JazaakAllah Khayr for ur kindness always
I like your attitude.
watching from Bangladesh.
Welcome Brother Ajam
Setting a boundary is key
Is this being recorded to be watched later again? Thanks
This is one of our Marriage Mending Monday’s Series and will be available on our facebook page:
fb.com/islampsychology
Nurturing the feelings of your partners
Fostering your relationship.making it real.
Doing things to please ALLAH
Wailaikum assalam.
Yea, filling your own cup first
I love you for the sake of Allah
Sister
Could we talk?
Please make an appointment at https://halehbanani.com
Salamun Alaikum dear sister
Hi Haleh!!
Hi Lindie 🙂