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Why is it that some people are happy irrespective of the situation they find themselves in, while others are always anxious, depressed or flutter between waves of happiness and worry?  

I’ve also had clients who’ve been living in mansions and have everything they can dream of financially but are so incredibly unhappy inside. I’ve also seen people who are happy because they don’t depend on someone or something to keep them happy. They are not influenced by the prestige they have or the titles they own. 

What is the secret that happy people know?

Happy people choose to be happy. That’s the secret behind their happiness. They take responsibility for their happiness. They don’t place their happiness in anyone else’s hands. They don’t place their state of happiness on their income, physical appearance, or possessions. 

With the pressures of social media, people are yearning and searching for fame and popularity. They assume that wealth and fame are a secret of being but they don’t realize that these things come with a lot of tests that people are not ready to deal with.  

This is also one of the main reasons why we see the rich and famous ultimately commit suicide. They take their lives away because they didn’t find the inner happiness and purpose in life. Happiness doesn’t lie in materialistic things. 

When people fail to realize this, they will just run after false happiness. If you are relying on someone else to make you happy, like your spouse or your kids, you will fail to achieve peace of mind. You will just be setting yourself up for failure and disappointment.

Therefore, the secret to happiness is a choice. It’s a choice that you make. I know we’re living in very challenging times and it’s not easy to choose happiness when we’re faced with so many challenges on a daily basis. But I want you to take responsibility.

  • Take responsibility to be content.
  • Take responsibility for your feelings. 
  • Take responsibility for your happiness. 
  • Take responsibility for your relationships.

Every test is a blessing

Just remember that every day, when you wake up, make affirmations and tell yourself that you will choose to be happy. You will choose to look at things from a perspective that everything that is happening in teaching you a lesson. When you have that level of acceptance and trust in Allah, you will know that every test is a blessing. 

Narrated Abdullah ibn Masoud (may Allah be pleased with him): ‘I visited Allah’s Messenger (SAWS) while he was suffering from a high fever. I said: “O Allah’s Messenger (SAWS)! You have a high fever”. He said: “Yes. I have as much fever as two men of you.” I said: “Is it because you will have a double reward?” He said: “Yes. It is so. No Muslim is afflicted with any harm, even if it were the prick of a thorn, but that Allah expiates his sins because of it, as a tree sheds its leaves.”‘ (Bukhari)

The Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wa Sallam said about happiness in Islam: 


 “Amazing is the affair of the believer, verily all of his affair is good and this is not for no one except the believer. If something of good/happiness befalls him he is grateful and that is good for him. If something of harm befalls him he is patient and that is good for him” (Saheeh Muslim #2999) 

It’s Allah who is in control

When you realize that everything is under Allah’s control and extrapolate lessons, your mind automatically shifts from seeing the negatives to focusing on the positives. This will prevent your mind from being in a state of depression, anxiety, or worry.

Keep happiness in your pocket

Put the key to happiness in your own hands. Don’t give that key to anybody. No one should have that key to your happiness. Many people place this key in the hands of other people and that’s why they’re absolutely miserable. 

I have mothers who come to me and tell me that their kids don’t call or check on them, making them feel unhappy. I have clients who complain that their husbands don’t give them the attention. Husbands complain about how their wives don’t give them love. It’s always people blaming others for their lack of happiness. 

Sometimes it’s unintentional, but many times, people are disappointing. When you stop depending on the actions of others and don’t wait for someone else to lift you up or give you that sense of joy, you will automatically feel a sense of calm and contentment. 

So, I want you to put that key of happiness back in your hand. I want you to be able to access happiness whenever you want because it is possible.

Successful people are able to change their state of mind and get themselves in that happy place. They’re not dependent on anyone else. They don’t place it on their circumstances.

At the Mindful Hearts Academy, I talk about finding true happiness where I give you psychological tips from a neuroscience perspective. I help you create neurotransmitters that make you feel amazing and in turn, help you develop lasting happiness – the Islamic happiness that aligns with our deen and makes us reinforce everything that we know.

I teach you about the cognitive-behavioral counseling perspective, which helps you change your thoughts, choose how you behave, and look at things. I help you analyze what’s going on internally, to help you achieve inner happiness that lasts and is not just trivial.

Sign up to the mindfulhearts.com hearts. My mission is to empower each and every woman, teach them and give them tools that they need in order to deal with the circumstances, to not give up their happiness or put that key in anyone else’s hand. I help women take responsibility for their emotions and actions for life.

Join the academy to learn how to transform, to be happy, to learn and grow inshaAllah.

For further guidance, you can find some free courses and content on how to enhance your marriage. Also, you can download a free PDF from the website to benefit from it, Insha’Allah.


By Haleh Banani, M.A.

Haleh Banani holds a Master's degree in Clinical Psychology. A faith-based counselor, life coach, and mental health professional who has served the community since 1998 by saving hundreds of marriages and helping thousands of people around the world overcome their challenges and become the most amazing version of themselves.
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59 Comments

  1. Lanierose TP

    My happy pills are my family and frendz
    Alhamdulillah..

  2. Lanierose TP

    Sarah M. Abolhusain…

  3. Ruma Rahim

    Masha-Allah

  4. Sheeba Wanee

    Your so Pretty MashaAllah
    Allah huma Barak laha ..
    Your inner beauty radiates on you

  5. Fanta Kaba

    Walakuim Salam waramatuillah wabarakatuh

  6. Besmitta Zheni

    Ur voice so energetic… I am enjoying what you are saying… great topics.
    جزاك الله خيرا

  7. Benish Azhar

    Salam inbox me sis need ur help.

  8. Joseph David

    Please tell me original county mysister in islaamic

  9. Asha Khan

    Alhamdullilah so amazing

  10. Farah Syeda

    what about people constantly putting you down

  11. Zubeida Ottley

    Assamu’Aleikum Wahrematullahi. Alhamdhulilah back on listening to another lecture. Love it.

  12. Mona Khalil

    Barak Allahu feeki

  13. Aisha Hassan

    Assalamu alaikum

  14. Bibi Shafeena Husain

    Assalaam o alikum dear sister. Your message is really clear is the way one chooses life either happiness or unhappy marital relationship. May Allah guide us all to happiness in sha Allah

  15. Hayat Dachra

    Jazaki Allah khair

  16. Hayat Dachra

    Thanks from Casablanca Morocco

  17. Qudrah Toyeen Sulaiman

    Happiness is connecting with Allaah foremost…then the nest is discovering yourself and be happy with who you find within…

  18. Horty Crop

    Elsalam aliukum

  19. Hayat Dachra

    Afafe Abdellah Jaafar

  20. Afifa Ismail

    I choose to be happy. I have the key to happiness.

    • Haleh Banani

      Afifa Ismail MashaAllah!

  21. Afifa Ismail

    This is amazing!

  22. Afifa Ismail

    Love your work.

  23. Shabana Khokhar

    Shabana Khokhar from Pakistan

  24. Kauthar Busari

    Asalamunalaikum warahmatullah wabarakatu

  25. Shafi Yare

    Being happy needs acceptance of what allah has offered and willing to work like as if it’s the last day of every thing . Dedication massive determination commitment is what life needs and happiness is around the corner while fulfilling daily prayers masha Allah

  26. Ranya EL-omrani

    Thank you so much, I have just get to know you lately, I love you for the sake of Allah

  27. Nour El Samahi

    I am really proud of your consistency much love from egypt

  28. Amna Raja

    I am so much depressed and your words soothe me…. Alhumdulillah, jazakillah

  29. Khaled Abd Ellatif

    السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

  30. Rahima Kadi

    Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

  31. Amna Raja

    Walikum us Salam

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